eap Mailing List: Re: sm-02 nits

[Nick Petroni (npetroni]

Jari, thanks for the comments. I have 2 questions and a couple comments
inline...

> - Title should expand "EAP" per RFC editor
>    requirements.
ok, fixed.

>
> - Abstract should expand AAA and replace
>    RADIUS with AAA so that it doesn't have to be
>    expanded also.
fixed.

>
> - Move the second last paragraph after the text
>    that talks about the switch.
I don't quite understand this request. Which paragraph moved where?

>
> - Delete last paragraph of the abstract,
>    it is in part duplication and in part contain
>    temporary status information about the document.
done.

>
> - Section 2, s/out of scope for/outside the scope of/
>    I think, English is not my native language...
agreed. changed.

> - For some reason, the bottom page heading is right on
>    the next line after text ends. E.g. Section 4.1.
>    I find this a bit confusing, it takes a moment to
>    realize that your eyes have read into the heading and
>    not a continuation of the paragraph. If you can change
>    this easily, please do. If not, don't worry about it...
This is a LaTeX-ism, worst case I will fix it by hand.

> - Inconsistent capitalization of the sentences explaining
>    variables, see e.g. Sections 4.1.1 vs 4.1.2.
Which do you prefer? start with caps or no?

> - s/wasn't/was not/
>    s/don't/do not/
>    s/can't/can not/
>    s/hasn't/has not/
ewww, yeah. done.

> - In Section 5.2, I think it would be useful to add
>    the following just before "m.init": "In the following
>    we will discuss procedure calls that the state machine
>    can make to methods."
done with slight word smithing.  "The following describes the interaction
between the state machine and EAP methods."

Also made this change in 4.2. Furthermore, I made the order of "IN",
"OUT", and "IN/OUT" consistent between these two sections.

> - As discussed with the RFC editor and in IETF-59,
>    we need a .txt version with the state machine
>    as a table.
Working on that now... should have something to show tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks!
nick